take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
