i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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