She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
