Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
