This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
