3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
