I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
