well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
