so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
