I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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