I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
