I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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