her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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