So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
