Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
