I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
