Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
