it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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