he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
