people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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