Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
