please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think pants incapable of making pants work
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
