so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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