i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
