He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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