there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
