Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
