What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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