I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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