And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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