WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
