imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
