He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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