Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you win again, gameday.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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