96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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