idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
