We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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