Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
