this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
