My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
