..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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