Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
