Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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