Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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