He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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