I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
