Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
