Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
