So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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