My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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